The Freelancer

Ants Deserve Equality, Access to Education, and Miniature Desks

Rose, Columnist

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People stopped complaining about the ant problem on campus. While ants sometimes crawl into lockers, classrooms and even the cafeteria, the students on campus are making an effort to pretend they are not there. Ignoring the ants is like treating them like peers since teenagers already shy away from normal conversations.

However, the ants do not have full equality on La Serna’s campus. Sometimes, the ants are murdered for no reason. Because ants are unable to order their own lunches, they feast and scavenge on old trash or leftovers. This is no reason to perceive them as a threat. Ants will stop stealing food if they are allowed to buy their own lunch on campus. Of course, this would also mean the ants need part-time jobs. (They work for their queen full-time, so they can’t have another demanding career). Ants are discriminated in the workplace and not often hired, so the ants should receive consolation funds from the government if they are unable to receive employment.

Along with the ants’ need for free lunch, they should also have an access to a free education. Ants are progressively becoming smarter. They know how to break and enter into lockers. They also are aware they can carry food up to 50 times their own body weight. Ants are even smart enough to build a society based on a monarchy. If ants are present in the classrooms they will learn more than just trades. They can even be prepared to attend college by learning complicated statistics and more about their influence on the environment.

Allowing the ants to learn at school would only be possible if our school funds new equipment in the classes. Since La Serna High School recently contributed over 9 million dollars for new sports upgrades as well as other expenses for the practice SAT and new laptops, it most likely can afford miniature desks. The desks must be like ours to make the ants comfortable, so the only modification for the desks should be they are scaled down to 600 times smaller. Ants should also have access to textbooks and laptops which can be normal size since ants can lift heavy things.

My final comment to improve the lives of ants at school is to allow them to graduate with the Senior Class of 2019. As the students dismiss this school with a farewell so should the ants. The problem on campus has gotten too large to continuously go ignored. How many more lunches must be lost to the ants crawling into a lunch bag securely placed within a locker? The ants are evil, and it is time La Serna dealt with them.

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Ants Deserve Equality, Access to Education, and Miniature Desks